If Hamlet Doth Tweeted

September 1, 2010 · 8 comments

To tweet or not to tweet – that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the cloud to suffer
The slings and arrows of experts and entrepreneurs
Or to ignore a sea of DMs
And by opposing them, lose followers. To lie, to tweet
No more – and by not tweeting to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural lamers
That Twitter is heir to – ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To bore, to sleep
To sleep, perchance to dream-tweet. Ay, there’s the tweet,
For in that tiring tweet what dreams may come,
When we have fallen deep from boredom’s coil,
Must give us pause. There’s the dissing
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of experts,
Th’ opressor’s thong, the jerkwad’s contumely.
The pangs of disprized lists, the mentions we made,
The insolence of spammers, and dweebs
That patient merit of th’ wanker takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To tweet and retweet under a social media storm,
But the dread of something after Facebook,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveler returns, puzzles the SEO experts
And makes us bear those bastards who unfollow
Than fly to the DIGG that we know not of?
Thus social media does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue irresolution
is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of crank tweets,
And enterprises of great scams and moment
With this regard their snake-oil turn awry,
And lose the name of Meme. – Soft you now!
The fair porn queen, in thy U-Tube-tops
Be all my tweets remembered.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Missy September 1, 2010 at 6:37 am

Hilarious!

Hal Brown September 1, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Thanks Missy. I hope others see it that way.

Mari B September 1, 2010 at 1:02 pm

O Hal, doth thou biddest thy fellow tweeps adieu?

Hal Brown September 1, 2010 at 4:42 pm

Pray thee wash they mouth fair one. T’was mere attempt at humor I make. No, just wanted to add tragedy to Twitter.

How about this one:
Shakespeare walks into a pub and the landlord says, ‘I’m not serving you.’
Shakespeare says, ” Wherefore, prithee?”
And the landlord says, “You’re bard!”

Mari B September 2, 2010 at 1:26 am

Humorous without a doubt, o punster thou. Off the wall clever, too. And a relief to know t’was jest.

Kissie September 2, 2010 at 11:28 am

I feel so well rounded, but not too clever. My head will hurt if I continue to come up with something clever…. I even Googled a comeback. Nah. “Can’t touch this.” MC Hammer.
Kissie´s last blog ..Two Places to Find Compassionate PeopleMy ComLuv Profile

Hal Brown September 2, 2010 at 1:56 pm

Just having a little fun with the Bard. I knowest not MC Hammer from a codpiece. :-)
Thanks Kissie!

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